Generations of women
that I never met,
nest inside my blood
-the history of my family
closed hearts and open palms
slapping the love out of me
a circle of distress
from one mother
to the daughter
I was only 6 when I learned
that love means pain
and I carried it with me
ever since
Three generations of my women
that made me suck all the sadness
till it scratched my bones
I was only 10 when I found out that
love comes with punishment
and I carried it with me
ever since
I want to break the chain
of trauma from my women
I will grow for that women,
I will grow for that grandmother
that never learned how to hug.
I will grow, for the mother,
that never learned to stop
a slapping hand.
I will grow for me
and the mother that
I will become.
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