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DIRTY FEMALE REALISM

Find yourself somewhere between the lines.

Generations of women 

that I never met, 

nest inside my blood 

-the history of my family

closed hearts and open palms 

slapping the love out of me

a circle of distress 

from one mother

to the daughter


I was only 6 when I learned

that love means pain

and I carried it with me 

ever since


Three generations of my women

that made me suck all the sadness 

till it scratched my bones


I was only 10 when I found out that

love comes with punishment

and I carried it with me 

ever since


I want to break the chain

of trauma from my women

I will grow for that women,

I will grow for that grandmother

that never learned how to hug.

I will grow, for the mother, 

that never learned to stop

a slapping hand.


I will grow for me

and the mother that 


I will become. 

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